Family day care

I have found a family day care placement for Bear, and the best thing is, it is only 1.2km away. I have a meeting next Tuesday morning to go and see her house and meet her and the other kids. There are two other children she looks after - aged fourteen months, and two and a half.

We decided to go with family daycare rather than a childcare centre for a couple of reasons. But one of the biggest reasons is that I think Bear will do really well with kids of mixed age, rather than being put in the baby room of a big centre. And I like the idea of him being in a family environment, rather than a face in a crowd. The woman we are considering takes the kids to a playgroup once a fortnight with a few of the other carers, so he will still get to meet and mix with a bigger range of children.

He will be going two days a week, with the option to up it to 3 days if necessary.

The next challenge is to battle Centrelink and see if I can sort out the childcare rebate. I have a feeling it is going to be fairly complex, with Mr working for himself, and me on a casual contract.

I really don't want to have to deal with it. But I know it has to be done.

"Favourite things" biscuits

Last night I did some baking. A lot of baking actually. I made my "favourite things" biscuits.

It's a basic biscuit recipe which you can turn into anything by adding your "favourite things".

Last night I made oat and coconut biscuits and rolled them out and cut them into hearts, which I then sandwiched together with blood orange marmalade. Delicious. I love citrus in sweet things. Mmm... lemon curd. Mmm... orange cake. I bought some blood orange marmalade recently, and it is the perfct balance of tart and sweet. Plus it is a gorgeous blush pink, which looks lovely in baking.

Back to the biscuits. This recipe makes a CRAPLOAD of biscuits, anywhere from 100 big ones to 200 little ones. Last night I made 156 hearts, but I still have dough left over, probably enough for another two dozen. I usually make a batch of dough, divide it in quarters, bake one, and roll the rest into logs and freeze them. Then when you want biscuits, you can pull out a log, and cut into rounds and bake. Instant fresh cookies!

Coconut and oat biscuits with blood orange marmalade.

Favourite Things Biscuits.

250g butter
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 tin condensed milk
1 tspn vanilla extract
1 cup oats (optional)
1 cup coconut (optional)
2 cups "favourite things"
4 to 5 cups SR flour

Cream the butter and sugar. Add the eggs and beat until thick and pale. Add the vanilla and condensed milk. Beat for a couple of minutes until creamy and thick. Add the oats, coconut and favourite things 1 cup at a time, mixing between each addition. Add the flour in the same way, ie one cup at a time, until a soft dough forms and the dough isn't too sticky. The amount of flour will vary depending on what you add/omit.

You can roll into balls, or roll into a log and cut into rounds, or roll out and cut shapes. Bake in a 190 degree oven for 8 to 12 minutes (just brown).

I like to make these with chocolate chips and glace cherries, with about 1/4 cup of cocoa in place of some of the flour. I also make them with a mix of white and dark choc chips. Or white chocolate, dried cranberries and macadamias (my personal favourite). You can use whatever you like.

I've also made this into gingerbread, by omitting the oats and coconut, adding more flour, some dry ginger, cinnamon, cloves and some golden syrup.

It is such a flexible recipe. Enjoy.

Edited to add:  I made the leftover biscuit dough into a crumble topping and made an Apple and Blackberry Crumble.  Mmmmm...

Apple and blackberry crumble

I don't even know where to start with this post.

In don't know whether or not I will even post this, or whether it will sit in a folder of drafts, to be read and re-read by me alone.

Yesterday I was pregnant. Today, I am not.

Five weeks, four days.

It doesn't even really count as a miscarriage. Mr calls them a "near miss". The technical term is a chemical pregnancy. I shouldn't be surprised. They are very common. I know. I had three while trying to get pregnant with Bear.

But this one is harder, for some reason. I think it is a cumulative thing. Each new memory adds to the old, and the weight gets heavier every time. I think another reason it is harder this time because I know what the alternative outcome is. I know that it can be different, which makes me want it even more.

But this is still early days in trying for another baby, so I best steel my resolve.

In the meantime, I think I shall go distract myself with some baking in my beautiful new black oven.

Taa daa!!

The kitchen is done.  Well, the tradies are done, we still need to paint some of the trim.  I have to go out soon, but thought you might like a preview.  I will come back and organise/provide commentary later.  

Zoo Day

All the babies in my mothers' group are turning one.  So, on Sunday, we had a communal birthday party for them at Alma Park Zoo.  It was a lovely day, the weather was perfect.

Running in the sunshine

Bear wasn't particularly interested in the animals, except for the baby chickens.  He spent ages watching them and laughing at them.  He thought they were hilarious.

But the most fun he had all day was just walking around the zoo, striding around in the new shoes he got for his first birthday.  He loved the wide open spaces and chasing the kangaroos.

So placid given she has a joey. 

He was having fun chasing peacocks around the lawn, but then one squawked at him, and he ran over to the nearest legs and clung on for dear life.  Luckily it was one of the other Mums from my mothers' group, and not just some random person. 

We saw my dad at the zoo, too.  He wasn't supposed to be working, but the head keeper had to take some time off for personal reasons, so he was covering her.  We ran into him at the red panda exhibit.  Bear was so excited to see the "Poppy exhibit", so Dad picked him up and put him in the enclosure with the red panda.  It was really cute.  He wanted to get down and play with them, but Dad wouldn't let him, because red panda scent mark everywhere and it stinks.  So, Bear got jack of it and started crying so he could get out and run around again.

Ataxia-Telangiectasia Ball

On Friday night, we went to a charity Ball at the Gabba.  It was in aid of Ataxia-Telangiectasia, which is a rare neurological disorder.  It was a wonderful night.  It was huge, over 700 people. We were sat at the table with one of the guest speakers, who is the neurologist that Mr will be working with from September onwards, looking at DBS (Deep Brain Stimulation).

They showed a presentation at the dinner that showed before and after footage of people who have had DBS.  I really struggled to stay composed, the footage was so moving.

They also held a charity auction, and a painting done by a girl with A-T went for $8,500!  Amazing.

I ended up wearing a dress I borrowed from a woman in my mothers' group.  It was a lace up back, so it didn't matter that we are slightly different sizes.  I bought some trinketty jewellery from Big W, and a fascinator from Myer on sale.  Shoes were some strappy flats from City Beach (a black version of the ones I wore to a friend's wedding).  Again, because the woman who lent me the dress is shorter than me, but she wore heels, the dress length was perfect with me in flats.

My fascinator, and $4 earrings. 

Making progress

Only 3 more sleeps and the kitchen should be finished! 

I can't wait. 

Today we finally got the benchtops in, and the building work was completed. 

Tomorrow the electrician, plumber, and tiler will be here, and should finish their respective parts.  Then Thursday, the floor goes down, and then it is just the kickboards and we're done!

In the meantime, here are some progress pics to whet your appetite.

Empty

Now

Empty

Now

I won an iPad!!!

I just had a phone call from the ABA in Melbourne.  I won 6th prize in the Mother's Day raffle.  An iPad!  I really wanted the first prize ($15,000 Coles/Myer voucher) but I will take an iPad.

I think this is karmic payment for all the shit we have been through with the kitchen.

I would never buy an iPad.  I don't even own an mp3 player.  It is just not on my list of "things I need".

I only got this new laptop because I needed it for work and my old one wouldn't run the programs I needed because it was too old. 

Yay! iPad!  (Can you tell I am excited?)

You could pass.

I have got a dress for the Ball tomorrow night (photos will follow next week).  One of the women in my mothers' group lent it to me.  It is black with silver beading under the bust.  It is a lace up back, so it doesn't matter that we aren't exactly the same size.  I am taller than her, but I will wear flats, so it is still long enough (just). 

Not that I have a choice about wearing heels, since I still physically can't stand on my right leg with my foot pointed.  I can't weight bear on the ball of my foot.  Amazing what a back injury can do, isn't it?

But, the hunt for the Ball dress got me thinking about the fact that I have 3 weddings coming up, and that since they don't have overlapping guest lists, I could afford to splash out and get myself 1 really nice new dress. 

I got sent some suggestions by my friend (you know who you are), and have fallen in love with this dress.

Lovely.

Unfortunately, I googled the website it was on, and they have very negative reviews, so I am not willing to buy from them.  It would just be too risky. 

I find it so hard to find nice clothes.  I am just not the shape that people make clothes for.  And I am so tall and have a big bust, that I always get treated like a tranny by sales assistants.

I discovered a TV series, Miranda, recently, and connected a little bit too much to this segment.

So, if anyone knows of GOOD, reliable cheap dress stores that would stock something that would fit me, please let me know. 

Urgent opinions required!

This dress, awesome or awful?

More pics here.
http://www.citychic.com.au/PLEATHER-KNIT-DAMN-YOU-ALEXIS-MAXI-DRESS-.aspx?p20008

Mr and I are going to a Charity Ball on Friday night.  I have nothing suitable to wear.  The dress code for women is "glamorous!"  The exclamation point makes me think I might be able to get away with it.

But I haven't been to a Ball before, so I don't know.

Urgent thoughts required.

On the down low

Little piece of news to keep on the down low - we are trying to have another baby.

I am petrified about the whole process.

I am scared I won't get pregnant.  I am scared that I will get pregnant.  I am scared that I will gain even more weight and that a baby bump might actually succeed in clean snapping what remains of my spine.

I am scared that I will not love another baby as much as I love Bear.  He is such a good baby, and an absolute joy.  I worry that I will have a fussy baby, who is clingy and moody and all the things that Bear is not.

I'm scared I won't cope.  Things are really good right now, and I worry about throwing out that balance by having another baby.  First, I worry about how I will cope with Bear during pregnancy.  What if my pregnancy isn't good, and I have horrible morning sickness, or if my back pain gets worse?  I will have to give up my painkillers if I get pregnant.  I have weaned myself off the good ones already.  But knowing that they aren't an option if things get worse again is really scary.  My right leg still has constant pins and needles (at best) and painful, cramp-like shooting pains, at worse.  I also worry about how I will cope after pregnancy, ie life with two babies.

But greater than all the fear together, I am excited about the prospect of adding to our family.  I have all the anticipation that I had before I got pregnant with Bear.

But this time around, I am braver.  I am more confident.  I know that I can carry a baby to term, and that I can give birth.  The apprehension gives way to confidence.  I know that I can do it.  A lot of the fear of the unknown that I had during pregnancy first time around just doesn't exist anymore.  Things that I couldn't predict, and couldn't foresee, I have lived, and seen the results.  Before Bear, I was worried how my marriage would change.  It has changed.  I didn't think it was possible, but the bond I feel to my husband is deeper and stronger than ever before.  Mr has shown strength, patience and empathy beyond compare, and is a better father than I could have ever imagined.  And to be honest, surviving a renovation has been much harder than surviving the shift to parenthood.

So, that is my secret news.

Great Day

I know this is a bit late, but I haven't had time until today to write this.  I had a great day last Thursday.  I went over to the house of one of the other Mum's from the ABA mother's group to talk about the presentation I'm doing next week.  

Her house was PERFECT!  She had a cement floor which has been waiting to be tiled for 4 years, a toilet door that if you closed fully it fell off the hinges, and a leather lounge covered in texta marks.

It was so nice to go and visit someone who didn't live in a manicured, catalogue perfect McMansion.  It was nice to have someone say, "Excuse the mess", and mean it. 

It was also nice to catch up with her, one on one.  Usually, I only get to see her at the group meetings, so while there is lots of chatting, you don't really get to find out much meaningful stuff about people.

Sneaky $20

I found a $20 note in my handbag today.  I don't normally use my handbag these days - instead just chucking my diary and wallet in the nappy bag.  But today, because I was going to uni for my meeting (which went great, by the way), and Bear was going to great-grandma's, I took my handbag.

The discovery of the sneaky $20 was awesome.  It's like winning lotto, a really small lotto of money you already earned.  But still, exciting none the less.

I also caught up for a coffee with a great friend at uni while I was there today.  We used to share an office, and I miss our chats over lunch.  We used to get lunch fairly regularly from one of the cafes on campus, which unfortunately went under in the recent floods.   When I say we got lunch "fairly regularly", I mean, a lot.  So much so that we were known by the waitstaff at the cafe as "Chilli Chicken" and "Vegetarian Special".  It was really nice to catch up with her today.

Nervous

I have a meeting about my new job tomorrow.  Bear will be spending the morning with his grandmother and great-grandmother.

I am quite nervous about the meeting.  I know the anxiety is irrational.  They called me and asked if I was available.  I know the people I am working with, and have worked with them before.  And they have seen the work I do, so they know the type and quality of the work I do, so I shouldn't be afraid that I'm not good enough.

They have even met Bear, and let me bring him to a meeting with me the last time I met with them (when I was working for them before).

But, simply because it is a new job, I am nervous.  But I am sure I will be fine.

I am excited about the prospect of being paid.  I like money.  It is handy for buying stuff.  And we could really use a budget boost to recoup some of the cost of the new kitchen (and my amazing freestanding cooker).

The Social Child

I have been asked by the ABA to be the guest speaker at the next education session in two weeks time.  I was asked ages ago if I would mind doing a guest spot (the group leader found out what I do for a living).  At the time, I said, "Sure, no problems!"  Thinking "June is ages away".

So, then the latest e-newsletter arrived, and I saw in it "June 20 - The Social Child - Looking at the emotional and social development of babies and toddlers".  Now, that is a HUGE topic, and I could talk about ANYTHING.  I have approximately an hour to talk (usually more like 45 minutes because the "ice-breaker" usually takes a while).

I am racking my brain trying to work out what to include.  There are several different things I thought I could talk about - things I find fascinating, but I don't know if the other mothers will enjoy.

Option 1 - I thought I could through from birth to school age and cover the major developmental milestones and how that influences how babies see themselves in the world.  Things like object permanence, recognition of the self (mirror self-recognition), theory of mind, etc.   I thought that could be an interesting topic, especially as there are kids of various ages there who I could use to demonstrate some of the classic tasks like object permanence and the Sally-Ann task.  Most of the women are well-educated, and I know I hate being treated like an idiot, so I thought they might appreciate something like this.  But I don't know if that is too psych-y. 

Option 2 - I could go through the topic "Why do we play?" and cover how children develop, and how play evolves.  Talking about parallel play in early toddlerhood, collaborative play, imaginative play.  Talk about how play develops throughout childhood, and the importance of peer relationships.  I could also talk about empathy (maybe touch on ToM).

Option 3 - A completely different approach could be to cover attachment, then talk about something like the Circle of Security (see http://www.circleofsecurity.org/) and focus more on how parenting influences attachment, and how attachment influences social and emotional development.  But they had a Triple P guest speaker a while ago, so I don't know if that would be too parent focussed.

Regardless of what topic I do, I will finish with a section about what to look out for if you are concerned about your child's social development, talk a bit about ASD, and the referral process if seeking an assessment. 

So I REALLY need feedback.  What do you think mothers would like to, or should, know about emotional and social development of babies and toddlers?

Sleeping through

I feel like a new woman.  Bear has been sleeping through for the last few weeks, with about one night a week he will have a bad night and end up in bed with me.  Last night he slept from 8:30pm until 7am this morning.  He woke at 5am, had a little grizzle, almost complaining about being awake, and then went back to sleep by himself.

Perhaps he isn't sleeping through, perhaps it's just that I am.  I am still on heavy duty painkillers for my back.  Maybe I am just hearing him less.

Little Bear is ONE - Part One

We had Bear's first birthday last Friday.  I tried to get a picture of the two of us together.  Not content with just having his fingers in his mouth, he had to put them in mine, too. (I've taken the pics down now, to help keep things a bit more on the down low).

On Saturday, we had a party with family.  It was lovely.  Bear had his aunts and uncles, as well as both sets of grandparents, and two great-grandmothers there.

I made a jungle safari cake.  I wasn't completely happy with how it turned out, but it wasn't too bad.  I will get the chance for a do-over in a couple of weeks when we have a party at the zoo as a combined 1st birthday for my mother's group.

Everything with the cake was going well until I managed to blow up not one, but both of my mother's mixers while making the buttercream.  First her little handheld mixer died, so we got out the big Kenwood, which promptly smoked all over the kitchen.  So, then Mum went off to the shops and bought a new mixer, but by then, the butter had softened too much, and the icing texture just wasn't right, and all the guests had arrived, so the buttercream didn't get a chance to set before I had to decorate the whole thing.  The result was that the jungle safari was on the move - namely, the monkey was trying to slide off the cake.  Most of the other animals were slightly more compliant.  I was really happy with how my fondant animals came out, and the cakes themselves were really good.  So, two out of three aint bad.  I made one orange cake and one lemon cake.  The flavour was really good, helped along by the fact the fruit was freshly picked from Dad's fruit trees.  

I will some pictures up as soon as I can, but unfortunately, Ben took all the photos for the day on his fancy camera, and I don't have the right photo-editing software on my laptop to view/edit them, so will have to wait until he has done it on his computer before I can upload them.

Cloth nappy pics

I have finally added more pictures to my post about cloth nappies for those of you who are interested.

Paint colour UPDATE

I don't know if I updated about the paint decision, but we went with the blue, and it looks freaking awesome.  I will try to get a picture later so you can see. 

Unprofessional "professionals"

The kitchen renovations are still no where near finished, but progress has definitely been made.

The most frustrating thing has been the installer of the cabinetry.  Mr and his father spent the entire weekend painting the kitchen (walls and ceiling) and then during the install, the installer has gouged large chunks of paint out of the walls and ceiling, to the point that both will need repainting.  I know that we painted ourselves (royal we, I did nothing apart from choose the colour), but the fact is, if Mr had paid someone to paint, he would be ropable.  In my mind, it is just not good enough.

Mr was happy to just touch up the paint when the job is done, but I am not as forgiving, so I have sent a tersely worded email to the company.  Nothing like a tersely worded email to make you feel better about something.  Even if the outcome is no different, I feel better about the situation.