Smart

There is no way to write this post without seeming egocentric and conceited, but it is something I have been thinking about for a while, so I am just going to give up and write it anyway.

How do you know if someone is smart?

For years, I've had people tell me I am smart.  It always surprises me when people tack it on the end of a statement, as a fact, "blah, blah, blah, you know, you're smart."

Now, I am hearing all the same things said about Bear.  "Oh, he's a smart little cookie, isn't he?", "he's a bright little baby."  At this stage, I think what they are saying is that he is a good problem solver, attentive, and persistent.

But how do you tell?  What makes a person smart?  I know I test well.  I've always gotten good grades, but that just means I'm good at tests.  Similarly, I know I have a good vocabulary, and a solid grasp of grammar and punctuation.  I wield a possessive apostrophe with panache.  I use words like panache.  But a good friend of mine is an atrocious speller - she probably couldn't spell atrocious.  But that doesn't mean she is less smart.

So, that still doesn't answer the question.

I think one thing that made me realise I was smart was realising that I assume other people understand things the way I do.  I am still sometimes surprised when people don't seem to understand what I see as fundemental truths.  Principles like conservation of energy, Newton's laws of motion, thermodynamics, basic molecular chemistry. To me, they are basic things that people should know - like the alphabet or how to count.  I don't mean being able to write down formulas, or even name the principles, but an understanding of how reality works.   I expect people to know things like if you enjoy hot tea, you should leave the tea in the pot and pour small cups, because the tea will cool more quickly once poured into a cup because of the thermal mass to heat transmittance ratio.  Put even more simply, I would expect people to know that large hot things take longer to cool than small hot things, and vice versa, that large cold things take longer to heat up than small cold things (ie small ice cubes melt first).  I am surprised that people don't just "get" that kind of thing.

I think the big realisation that I was smart, was realising that I deliberately try to hide how smart I am.  I  dumb down the things that I think when I am talking to people.  I convert the words in my head into simpler language, I translate things into analogies. 

It was only when I started my clinical training and was watching videos of my sessions with clients that I realised how often I finish sentences with "...does that make sense?", "...do you know what I mean?", "...am I making sense?"  My supervisor commended me for "checking for understanding", but in reality, it wasn't a clinical skill I had developed, it was something I do in everyday life all the time.

I heard someone say the other day that she loved her partner because he made her feel "special".  One of the single biggest reasons I love Mr is because he doesn't make me feel special.  In fact, sometimes he makes me feel downright ordinary.  All of my closest friends are like this.  In one way or another, they make me feel ordinary in the shadow of their brilliance.  I am in awe of my friends.  For their tenacity, their patience, their compassion, their honesty, their humour.

I think the most important realisation about being "smart", is knowing that being smart is no more valuable than any other personal trait.