Decisions

The word decide is a combination of the prefix de-, meaning "off", and the latin root -cide (from caedo), which means "to kill".  So, in a sense, to decide means "to kill off".   When you are standing at a crossroad, and you choose to walk down one path, you cannot walk the other (at least not simultaneously).  I think that is what makes some decisions so hard.  To decide is to kill off alternate choices, alternate futures.

Don't get me wrong, this is not a bad thing.  Decisions are necessary, and inevitable.  And through this "killing" we are also creating.  On the one hand, there is the death of the alternatives, and on the other, the birth a future -  full of possibilities.

Of course, procrastinating, or refusing to decide, is also a decision.  The world moves on, so choosing not to choose is also a choice.  I remember having that realisation as a teenager - the first real time in life when you need to make those big decisions.   The possibility of a million different futures lay in front of you, and you are told to take your pick.  It was a weird moment, to realise that not chosing is a choice.  Quite crippling, to realise that avoidance was not going to work as a way to overcome the overwhelming array of options that lay before me.

I think what makes it easier is to remember that decisions are not irrevokable.  Some are, but the vast majority of decisions have the ability to be remade at any time.  Even in continuing to live your life in the exact same way every day, you are making a decision.  A decision for the status quo.

All of these very deep and meaningful musings have been brought about by my discovery of a beautiful yellow freestanding oven.

It is outside of our budget, but if we compromise on everything else (such as DIY cheap tiles) and delay painting/renovating Bear's bedroom we could probably squeeze it in.  But it is trying to work out if those compromises are worth it, or whether I am just being silly and should go for a much cheaper (but no where near as cool) black stove like this one. 

There are pros and cons of both.  But the black one is the sensible thing to do.  And it would leave us more money (a LOT more money) to do other things.  But I always do the "sensible thing".  And it is MY kitchen, and I want the yellow one.

So many things to weigh up, so many things to decide.

Choice, bro.